First off, I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who read that blog post and supported my decision both in the comments and through the kind emails I received. Wanting plastic surgery is a scary thing to talk about because there's still a stigma attached to it so knowing there were other people dealing with similar issues was very reassuring.
Now, on to what people actually care about. The before and afters! I actually cried the first time I saw myself in the mirror after surgery. I was still a bruised mess when the brace came off but I finally had MY nose!
Although the metal brace was taken off my face at 7 days, these photos were taken 14 days after the surgery to allow a bit of the swelling to go down.
BUT, that's not the end of the story, obviously! It turns out your nose doesn't stay exactly how it looks right after surgery. It's still very swollen and it can take up to 18 months for everything to finally settle. I thought that was an exaggeration but NOPE, it's only been within the last year that I can say with certainty that this is how my nose will look forever.
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| Which I am more than ok with. |
1. Having surgery to fix something will not fix you internally! I naively believed that it was only my nose causing the insecurities I had about my looks. How untrue that turned out to be. I still find myself nit-picking how I look but I'm really working on being nicer to myself. I suppose it's a life long struggle that most women have to deal with.
2. I find myself still making goofy faces in pictures and trying to hide my nose! YIKES! I had conditioned myself for 12 years to take pictures from only certain angles or make silly faces that it has truly become ingrained in me. Most of the pictures I take are still dorky and I have a hard time allowing myself to just smile.
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| Sometimes I pull out the goofy face while still smiling. |
If anything, this blog is making it sound like the surgery has made my insecurities worse. That is not true at all! I'm so much happier every day and when I look in the mirror I'm generally at peace with how I look. I spent a really long time scrutinizing my face that it's tough to overcome that in a just a few short years.
Would I recommend surgery to those thinking about it? Absolutely! While I don't believe we should be placing so much emphasis on our looks, if a part of you if making you desperately unhappy and you have the opportunity and means to fix it, go for it! Just make sure to do your research and maintain realistic expectations. A nose job isn't going to suddenly turn you into Natalie Portman (no matter how hard I wished it to happen).
The best thing that has happened to me since getting the surgery was seeing an old friend shortly after. I hadn't told him about it and when we saw each other he said to me, "you look really good. Different though. Did you change your hair?" I can't tell you how happy that made me feel. I'm still myself after all this, just a better version.
Oh, and I even let people take pictures of me without makeup now. Crazy, right?
If you have any further questions or comments about this journey I've gone on feel free to email me any time. I promise to respond as soon as possible.
-Torri
